Nvm

Saturday, May 26, 2007

ya, sort of skip yesterday's lesson AGAIN

i got warning letters from MDIS,
barred from Mid yr
and
Meet The Parent Session

wtf, as if they can threaten me like that
u can kiss my ass

after talking to anica yesterday
i finally know what i need
i need a ............................................................................................

dog !

hahahaha
no la, siao
so gay

i need something else

hahahaha, so after so many years, this is what i need
hahahaha

k sorry, kinda sleepy right right now even after 16 hrs of sleep

meeting my online friend tmr
hope is an eye candy instead of some butch
well i haven seen her before and seems like she loves spider lilies too like linda. great great great
name sounds nice enuf, hope appearance is too
HAHAHAHAHAHa

found a new person to lame wif me

" I can't stand yang cheng ling"

" then sit down lor"

" can't find my chair"

lol, she actually lame wif me la
i told her

" kao, i have to eat grass liao "

" eat air la , it's everywhere"

" grass healthier "

hope she's nice

it's just me who is trying to run away from everything, even life
对别人付出，不代表你能收到别人对你的付出

miss euu at ;; |11:51 PM|

Friday, May 25, 2007

29 may

YANG CHENG LING COMING TO SINGAPORE TO PROMOTE SPIDER LILIES

hahaha

i'm very happy
dunno why, maybe because i love the movie too much bah

their love is so strong and touching

so wat if it's a girl girl relationship, their love is so strong to break through all sort of obstacles even how others look at them.... omggggg
how i wish to have a love like them ~~~

linda just told me something that scared the shit out of me

" I feel like having a girlfriend "

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

and

" i think u r more man than that isabella , get a girlfriend, she will be damn xinfu since u like to dote on ppl"

WAT THE SHIT U TOKING
LINDAAAAAAAA WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
F u la bitch, u r scaring me

thanks for the compliment that i'm man, but the second part errrrrrrrrrrrr..............

i mean what do u expect, i'm tomboyish ever since young la, condition worsen when i live wif only my dad

very hard not to think like a guy nehhhhh
hahahaha, my dad taught me too many man things
*shrugs* as if i wan it that way
my dad told me to be 体贴 to girls and be firm to guys

lol
if u can't see the chinese words
go to view and change the language to Unicode lor

fredick once said ,

"it's hard to find girls who understand guys and think like a guy so much"

lol
i understand guys, but i can't understand girls even i'm one

girls are so complicated

hahaha, i'm too simple minded until linda always call me

"naive , no wonder everytime kana cheated, bully and step on and u dun understand girls at all la, go get a girlfriend, ur girlfriend will definitely bully u to the extent u DIE"

ya, she always ask me to get a girlfriend and i feel like telling her that now, since she's so affected by that spider lilies movie

LINDA

GO GET A GIRLFRIEND URSELF , i help u tell ur bf
LOL

enuf liao

later she really get one then her bf will come after me with a chopping knife

anyway
i'm sick of waiting by the phone for ppl's reply, it has been like that for years
just like linda said,

" u r too naive, ppl say what u believe watever they say, in the end , the one at the loss is u. and stop pinning ur hopes so high can ? u think u 暗恋 someone for so many years do any good to u ? and stop daydreaming, dun always wan to make other ppl happy and in the end, u r at a loss and is sad. Wake up. stop trusting everyone u meet"

well i mean i just....nvm
ya la, maybe i'm too naive and stubborn le
and she sound like a nagging mum

if u told me this earlier, i would have do something about it, but i'm a devoted person, how to like change all of a sudden ? u dumb les-to-be woman

enuf le la, u make me feel so vex all of a sudden, i'm staring into spaces so much recently le laaa, i already heck care so many things liao, and even bothering to go school today le lorrrr

argh

i'm so broke i could die, i have to bank in my next month pocket money, so, i'm left with $10 for the whole of this month and next month, ppl , stop asking me out liao
and my mid yr exams is in 2 weeks time
after that, HAHHAHAHAHA, happy liao, go out dun spend also no problem

but now hor

I NEED A PENCIL BOX
hahhahhaha, any kind soul willing to buy me one ? definitely not all those primary school one nor cute cute ones, turn me off completely

hahahahaha
ok, tmr got bio practical, can i skip ? i too cannot be bother wif everything liao

i just wan to look at the sky everyday every moment and do some real deep thinking.........

miss euu at ;; |9:12 AM|

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

VEXED ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

super vexed laaaaaaaaaa

but hor, all the problems like lump together until i dun even know what i'm vexed about

continuous 2 nights never sleep liao laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

48 hrs awake !!!!!!! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

=(

i drink also no use laaaaaaaaaa

eh i very easily drunk one okkkkk
kns...all i feel is giddiness and BINGO, i'm awake

and OMFG

u know what linda said

" if yang cheng ling turns les, i'm willing to turn les for her "

O.O
omg omg omg

what about ur bf bitch ? and she got me seriously hook on that lesbian movie

THEY ARE SO HOT !!!!!!!

and that bloody movie is so censored la, and it';s going to be launched in singapore on the 14 june and and and and and and

THEY ARE COMING TO SINGAPORE ON 29 MAYYYYYYYYYYY

hahahaha, paisay, very few movies can actually catch my attention lorrrrrrr

let's see, lion king, 200 pound beauty and spider lilies
lol

and LINDA SHOWED ME THE 5 MIN CENSORED PART

i admit, they are so hot, i nose bleed

seriously !!!!! i was like omg

hahahaha, if they ask me join in is a no no

BUT

if they hor, act infront of me
HAHAHAHA

i will sit right infront and seeeeeeeeee

hahahaha

they are just so hot

and hor and hor, the director say that she will include the censored parts in the dvd when it's launched... LINDAAAAAAAA.... wan get ? LOL

kao, watch that 2 hot girls can get anyone high laaaaaa
andddddddd linda got a set of the movie script, got pictures one nehhhhh, she's so high she ordered it frrom taiwan

and hor, she high until very smart, she say she order one for me, but i pay myself
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
i never ask u buy laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, i wan the poster onlyyyyyyy

and and and, SINGAPORE RATE THAT MOVIE AT R21
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..hahahahahaha

i think fredick also high after i show him the clips liaooooo

HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, and and and the director said hor, if continue watching can get addicted , linda and me completely addicted liao

hahahaha...even my psp got the movie and the trailer, aiya, just dun have the censored part...

SOOOOOOOOOO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
they are so hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
sorry, i high liao

miss euu at ;; |5:50 AM|

Saturday, May 19, 2007

skip class again today,

still thinking bout yesterday

weird ar, when u have ur super close friends by ur side, u just forget everything

i acc Ivy to polyclinic and she's referred to SGH A&E ,just wish her all the best for her eyes

then wen to comic shop and look up on my pals

time just wen by so fast, we did not do anything nor talk much, just sit beside one and another , it's just feels so good =)

Jenny Ass Wallace's Birthday

today in the shop

MY TREATMENT

told you guys i go suck out my blood clots liao, I NEVER CRY LOR, see, i so strong, can even tahan this type of pain =) but i nearly faint seeing my blood... I HATE BLOOD

imagine having a few cups sucking ur blood out all at one go, u can scream ur ass off man

it hurts like &%#@&*%#&*%

and MY TORTURED ARMS, by nutty tay

and to end the entry off

my favourite photo

it's super classic, doubt i will be able to get another photo like this

HAHAHAHAHA

miss euu at ;; |7:26 AM|

Friday, May 18, 2007

firstly, Happy birthday Jenny ass wallace

had a great time celebrating for her, altho we sort of know one another 5 weeks, but everything I planned was just great, I nearly made her cried too tho.haha.Joey , jing jing and me got a photo frame wif our photo and a nike water bottle and a jigsaw puzzle. i mean the water bottle was unintentional, joey and me see it as something practical, so we got it, we really didn't know it's something she wanted. anyway, it's the photoframe that nearly made her cry, she was terribly touched when she saw it.

she said
" you guys made my day "

those words just made me smile =)

i wan everyone to have a good birthday , cos i have a bad one and never will i forgot the humiliation

nvm

i laughed and smile so fakely in class today
i think everyone saw it
how can i laugh and smile on a day my mum....

i wanted to go for lesson as i'm beginning to fall in love with bio again

but it's this empty feeling and guilt

that today's my mum's 9th death anniversary

the tears are still not dried after 9 yrs

i just need someone , anybody, to be by my side and walk with me and enjoy the night sky or anything, to forget

just get this damn thought out of my mind

i called quite a few, with half pleading voice
i really need to forget this day, it's a pain of losing someone so dear that everytime when anyone mentions his/her mom, i get fucking pissed

that's why

i hate mother's day

becos after mother's day, i lost her

i really dun like today i really need someone to be wif me
someone to talk to me and make me laugh

i'm so sick of making anyone laugh and smile

in the end

no one acc me

and i when shopping alone, it feels good for a moment, until all memories came back,and it even makes me reflect on myself
and i realised
i'm really useless, all i can think of are my bad points, i can't find any good points
i can't even say my good point is sprinting
i'm half handicapped now, my physician say it's a matter of time i'm wheelchair bound
anyway, many dun believe
guess i should upload the photos of my blood clot and all that in the next entry

i'm really unless, everything is half way through
study - failure
health - failure
everything-failure
no, i've got no good point after thinking for so long
even my hypnosist ask me to say my good points, i gave none, but filled the whole list wif my bad points
how ironic

nutty sort of called and perhaps got pissed wif me of why i didn't wan to go lesson

anyway, she dunno the reason
sorry

so ya =(

i hate today

miss euu at ;; |7:04 AM|

Sunday, May 13, 2007

probably due to the fact i was a little tipsy last night, many thoughts came to me

I swear I'm never gonna touch alcohol for awhile maybe never, who knows
I had half a bottle of Bacardi breezer lime, total disgusted , my mouth went completely numb,and it tasted like shit, shi min helped me to finish it after her bottle. She was a little tipsy lor, even the customers told her that her face was real red, but she still had to work till 10 while i head back home and collasped into a deep sleep that i've long awaited for months.

but just before i travel to lala land
they say alcohol can make you depress , it did made me alittle but also made me see the whole picture

in the past i was timid and coward, i was afraid to do anything to make ppl angry until i stepped into poly last yr, i did not smile and behave according to ppl's needs and was thus hated, maybe to what they think was attitude, i mean my behaviour was utter intolerable *shrugs*
but that was the first time i tasted the pain of being stabbed in a blog infact 2, and the pain of hating my birthday
anyway, i tot everything was a past and a lesson learnt, so i began to learn to be or pretend to be scared of ppl and act according to ppl needs, in order to give myself peaceful days ahead, and always acting to ppl's benefits and at my loss
to watever extent i hate it, i still have to be at my loss and at ppl's benefits, so that i will avoid watever troubles lies ahead.

how was i to know, when i stepped into mdis, i must say i was a little anit social , but i had to behave that way, cos some ppl there are a total screw ups. until i met this 28 yr who is a primary school teacher herself , i tot she was nice, but i was so wrong

she made me listen to her, but never really listen to me,when i wan to rant about something, she will say, i'm not in a very good mood, dun rant ...but i cannot be in a bad mood, i MUST always hear her rant. I mean i dun really like to like offend ppl, so i sort of lower my head and listen lor

that was when
she step over my head

becos i always say she look very fierce and i'm scared
hello ? this are just words, u think i'm really scared ?
i mean if i dun like u, i'll take revenge by spreading ur bad name, sooner or later u will lose ur foothold, do u really think i'm scared of u ? u should be scared of me, i'll made u lose ur job at ur primary school if i wan to.

seriously, she tot she's older than me, she is better than me in everyway,
has she taste the pain of losing a parent
has she taste the pain of what i've tasted

she's still new to this world altho she's 10 yrs older than me
her thinking is utter childish

i came online, purposely wan her to tok to me so i can shut her off from my life

she said

" yo other than feeling pissed how r u ?"
"been trying to call you but couldn't find you"

so i replied
" dun bother to call or sms me as i will only pick up 6 persons calls only "

she replied

"it's ok if...you...wan...to.........isolate me"

i replied
" gtg . bb"

so then i blocked her

dun you think her replied sounded like a kid ? isolate me, o as if i'm only doing that to you

isolation, u think we are still in secondary sch playing isolation ? dun be dumb, think like an adult bitch, this is karma bitch, i alwaysact according to your needs and i'm putting a stop to it

i just hate smsing and picking up calls so much that i know, i'm losing a friend, he said soon he wun exist in my life too, i was like wtf ? i wun even reply cos i REALLY HATE SMS!!! i just read and delete , i know i need him to teach me maths but, sometimes, i dun even know what am i doing

i mean that's different if it's from my close friends
i dun mind calls and sms frrom my close friends, other than that i really hate, i began to dislike hp so much i feel like telling my dad i was to cut of my line, but i fi cut of, it's hard for me to contact my friends and ask them if they wan to pon school liao ...hahaha

soemtimes u can choose not to reply smses one mah, is not as if every msgs u have to reply, some msgs like,
hey,got ut tmr

ok, thanks for ur reminder, i dun see a need to reply, cos u tell me something, is not as if it's a qns for me to reply

and like wat the 28 yr old msg me
I going to be free tmr whole day !!!

er ya so ? do i need to reply? u dun tell me u dun have other friends ? u telling me for ? what ur purposes ? what do u expect me to reply, n so thus i did not reply her, and she ask me why didn't i reply her

*roll eyes* COS THERE'S NOTHING TO REPLY BITCH !!!! fuck, u really think u r so superior that i have to reply u everything ? DUN STEP OVER MY HEAD, i'll stop being nice to you

my behaviour now is like cannot be bothered wif anything, really anything, i can't be bother wif what others feel too, if i bother i will act accordingly to how they feel, in the end, all i got is at my loss and get bullied like what that MDIS bitch did to me

if i live my life for ppl to strip me of my benefits and get bullied , i dun wan to stay in this world anymore, i dun give a damn to what still got so many ppl cares about me, to me, i can't feel it and there's always this numb feeling, dun bother to care about me, i'm just a living dead

i no longer have the motivation to study, not at all, no, not if anyone force me, cos i just wan to die physically

after my mum's gone, i'm already dead

i have big dreams bout my future job, but dream remains as dream cos all i wan is to die off

esp today's mother's day

it made me feel worse than ever

AND DUN SAY I'M EMO ! emo is an utter childish word, utterly

this is just a reflection

miss euu at ;; |1:12 AM|

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I SKIP NIGHT CLASS

cos got test and hor

I DUN WAN TO SEE THAT BITCH AND BASTARD

u know what the 28 yrs old bitch msg me ?
she actually called me just now at 6 pm, but i never pick up, so i pretend to be someone else and msg her

" Kaira's phone is not with her. You wan me to pass a msg ? "

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE REPLY ???

" I miss toking to her "

I WAS LIKE OMFG
U F%*^ing BITCH
I HATE YOU
AND I NEVR MISS TOKING TO YOU
I LOVE NOT TOKING TO YOUUUUUUUUUUU

then hor, i dunno lei, i feel vexed yet i dunno wat is it
actually wan to shop to forget everything but hor, nutty not free, so i go find anica and shi min lor
in the end we chat and watch movie on my laptop until 10.30 plus

i forgot what to be vex liao
becos of them =)

i nearly drink lor , but becos of them, i stopped and control
=)

i'm just glad

miss euu at ;; |8:17 AM|

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I'M ADDICTED TO ONLINE SHOPPING !!!!!!!!!

actually very long ago i'm already addicted

but recently, I'M HEAD OVER HEELS AGAIN !!!!!!

I just bought this

NICE RIGHT ??????

cost me more then $30 in total

tmr's TANK CONCERT IN RP !!!!

it's my first time going to a concert, so ya, kinda excited altho, i dun like him, he's not an eye candy =)

I'M GOING TO HAVE A MODELLING INTEREST GROUP IN RP !!

this means

EYE CANDIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHA

i can see chio bus and pretty hunks

as I've said before, our eyes are meant to see beautiful things, so dun blame me for looking at chio bus or cute guys

I dun really like to reply sms or calls
infact
I DUN LIKE
well except for close friends
soooooooo
in conclusion
I DUN WAN MY HP LE

really irritating la
having ppl to keep smsing you, for really stupid things, like I've got this woman from MDIS, she's a classmate and is 28 yrs old

AND SHE HAS YET TO RETURN ME MONEY FOR THE MOCHA I HELP HER BUY
she's fucking taking advantages of me, i so dun like her la, but i'm always fake in her face
she is a freaking dumb 28 yr old woman, something she's not meant to say, she says
and she sms me like

" Why didn't you bother to reply my msgs anymore ? R u OK? "

u know what are her msgs like ?

" Well , I'm not going to teach the kids for a whole day , i can relax ! "

do i look like i fucking care ? i mean what can i reply ?
MOREOVER I WATCHING WATCHING MOVIE WIF MY NUTTY

and u dumb woman msg some crap

IRRITATING

i dun even bother to pick up ur call cos u sux !!!!!!!!
i dun even wan to reply, when u see me on tue, i will just say my phone is wif my friend

I WAN LEAVE MDIS !!!

her latest msg is

" Hi Kaira , how haf u been ? Long time hear nothing from u. Hope you r ok "

I GOT NOTHING TO DO WIF U WAT FOR I CONTACT YOU ????

dumb woman
u r not as if my close friend nor good friend
oh no, i dun even see u as a friend
bitch
i dun like ppl to keep saying and asking
" R U OK ??"

why do u care man, it's irritating
and this guy from MDIS, also a classmate
he has to go back to camp everyday after class, so on tuesday, i'm like so beat tired
he still wan to go home wif me, cos he takes the bus just below my flat
not only that, he send me home
and i dun like, cos i remember got a certain girl who stalked me home once and it's scary
and i find it freakingly irritating
cos he's no eye candy
he treat me nice but quite mean to that 28 yr old woman tho... LOL

anyway
I HATE MDIS

=) i can't wait for my modelling IG to start
i lovvvvvvvveeeeeeee models, i think they are borned for my eyes
WAHAHAHAH
i can imagine myself asking them to pose for me and me guiding them in all the poses. =)
i'm so gonna love my job

oya, i still haven give up the idea of opening my own model agency and pub if possible a disco like zouk

work hard towards my As means getting a scholarship from Ren CI hospital means land a job as a physiotherapist means MONEY
money means OPEN MY OWN MODEL AGENCY AND PUB
hello...physiotherapists earn alot

o man, can't wait for my dad to get me a car
it means i've to send him to work, then send Nutty to school

sian
SHIT
school tmr

miss euu at ;; |7:08 AM|

Sunday, April 29, 2007

damn

i'm still having stomach flu ever since thursday

it hurts big time
ARGH

went to find anica and shi min yesterday tho, sort of brighten my day up alot
but when it's back home, it's back to square it
MY STOMACH HURTS
ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nutty's msg cheered me up tho =)
silly and kuku
lol
she never fails to make me laugh

damn, she's the third person to call me kuku

first, my dad
second , joey-look-alike called me crazy kuku
third, nutty

O.O

ARGH...it hurts !!! i hate stomach flu

mid yr exams coming liao

OMFG

miss euu at ;; |4:50 PM|

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

OMG !!!

NUTTY TAYJIAWEN VISITS MY BLOG ALL THE TIME

seriously touched

anyway hor, school start liao and i soooooooooo dun like my new class

why ?

cos hor my last sem class, first day is already freaky noisy and i click so well with them on the first day

this new class, i step in, complete silence lor

I SO DUN LIKE

plus

I'm so Anti social

only that Amalina

she's like practically enjoying all the attention in class cos she bothers to mingle

i only mingle with the Joey-Look-alike girl cos she's so like me

lol

other than that

i'm planning how to skip class and meet my W16M Pornsters liao

after school went to cafe galilee with my usuals

that girl at the counter still recognise me lor !!!!!!!! lol , 2 mths never see her liao

anyway, we played our games there

Nutty tayjiawen went out chilling wif me and bugged me to go MDIS for lesson, i so cannot be bothered

seems like she's the only one who can get me to study

any other ppl ask me study i will say orh and forget it

damn Nutty

and she torture me all the way, her bloody nail marks are still fresh on my arms

I so wish to torture her like this again

miss euu at ;; |8:13 AM|